This is all I have
by x-Nineveh-x
Summary: For all the HxR lovers! It's my first finished story and I've worked on it all night so please R&R! Heero's thoughts, songfic, lil' bit of humor


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Gundam Wing or the lyrics to this song.

**AN: **'This is all I have' is a song by Ozark Henry. He's my favourite artist. If you really want to get the feeling of the story you should listen to the song, if you can find it.

This story was written and posted in the middle of the night. I've spend a lot of time on it so **reviews are greatly appreciated.

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**This is all I have  
**

_This is all I have  
__It's been spread out loud  
__You took all of me  
__Everything_

I finally realised that all my thoughts, dreams, doubts and all other things that float around in my mind are caused by the feelings I have for her.Everybody knew already that I loved her but I was too blind too understand my own emotions.

She means everything to me. My life started to evolve around her safety.  
She took all of me.  
Everything.

_Nothing left to pack  
__But my cigarettes  
__And a photograph  
__You forgot_

All I have is packed in my duffel bag. A few clothes, my gun and my laptop.  
I'm sitting at the kitchen table in my small studio.

My cigarette is resting on its ashtray. A bad habit I picked up somewhere, don't ask me where 'cause I wouldn't remember.  
I switch the cup of coffee in my hands with a photograph that lies in front of me. It was taken last year at Quatres mansion. Duo secretly took the picture after he tricked us to stand under the mistletoe together. He told her she could have the picture as a Christmas present but she forgot to take it with her when she had to leave for an emergency meeting.

_Still I'm on my way  
__Chasing love behind  
__Not knowing what to find  
__All I know_

I empty my mug of coffee and put the picture and the pack of cigarettes in my pockets. I pick up my bag and look around me one last time to see if I hadn't forgotten anything.  
I walk down a flight of stairs and knock on my land lady's door. The little grey lady opens the door a few seconds later. Her face immediately lights up and I'm greeted with a warm smile.  
The old lady is probably the only person that never saw my 'death glare' as the braided idiot likes to call it.  
I'm invited in for some thee and cookies but I decline, giving her one of my rare smiles. I give her the envelope with my last rent payment and tell her that I need to leave.  
"Where are you leaving to so suddenly, my dear?"  
"Chasing love behind."

_Still I'm on my way  
__Oh for all I care  
__Hanging on to love's  
__Sweetest crime_

As I walk outside I can't help but notice what a beautiful day it is. The sun is shining and there isn't a single cloud.  
As a perfect soldier I never took time to care about a beautiful day like this unless it would be an advantage to a mission.

Kind of weird. The perfect soldier and the pacifist.  
Loves sweetest crime.

_Am I guilty of  
__All that you've committed  
__All of what you did  
__Everything?_

I can't help but laugh at my own stupidity.  
She followed me around the entire world, even into space. She nearly got herself killed when she interrupted the fight between me and her brother.  
And I was so stupid to be afraid of my own emotions and try to avoid her.

_Rumours spread around  
__That I was unsound  
__That I let you down  
__All the way_

I would have kissed her back on Peacemillion when I was leaving to fight Zechs.  
Damn those helmets!  
My friends have told me many times I was out of my mind.  
Even Wufei told me I had to be nuts to keep 'the woman' waiting.

I realise now how much pain I must have caused her.  
How many times did she cry herself to sleep?  
How many times did I break her heart by just leaving?  
Heero, you're a bastard.

_Still I'm on my way  
__Chasing love behind  
__Not knowing what to find  
__All I know_

I'm greeted at the door by Pagan. He's clearly surprised to see me.  
He leads me to the salon to wait for Relena.  
"I'm sorry if I'm being rude master Yuy but if you're planning on leaving I suggest that you leave now before you break miss Relena's heart again."  
"Don't worry. I'm staying this time. Promise."  
"I'm glad to hear that. If you'll excuse me, I'll go get miss Relena."

I stand in front of the open window and look into the garden. There she is, sitting on a bench reading a book. Pagan walks up to her and I hear him say that someone's here to surprise her and is waiting in the salon.

"Heero?"  
I turn around and look into her surprised face.  
I take the duffel bag of my shoulder and let it drop to the ground.  
"This time I'll stay. I promise."  
She runs up to me and I take her in a hug. I whisper to her how much I missed her and how stupid I was not to stay with her before.  
I look into her eyes and wipe away a tear that's rolling down her cheek.  
She smiles at me and for the first time I smile back.  
Our faces close in on each other and I capture her lips in a passionate kiss.

And this time, no helmet can stop me!

_Still I'm on my way  
__Oh for all I care  
__Hanging on to love's  
__Sweetest crime_

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_  
_**Tell me! What did you think?  
****It's my first finished story and I spent precious hours of sleep on it. So please r&r. **


End file.
